Originally Posted by spike
Of the nine items there the only one that is not an essential part of the contribution of both sides to any close relationship is '8. Ability to guide'.

Quote Originally Posted by Finding_Fantasy
I would have to disagree with you here, Spike. In a way, the submissive does need to guide the Dominant for the Dominant cannot know what the submissive expects, wants, or needs without guidance from the submissive. As far as I am aware, Dominants are not mind readers.
(Psst - I think he was saying that's the one thing not essential in vanilla relationships. It's the one characteristic BDSM relationships have that vanilla relationships don't...at least not so overtly (my opinion).