My solution? Kink or vanilla, don't get into a serious long term relationship with someone you have fundamentally different beliefs from. No relationship needs that kind of extra strain; they're work enough to maintain without it. Basic agreement over politics and religion were the hardest of hard limits for me in both r/l and online commitments. And add childrearing philosophy to that list for r/l marriage consideration. Some things are just too important to fight over as far as I'm concerned. And arguing aside...the fact that we are able to attend church together (and have frighteningly similar belief histories!), and that we're able to go to the polls together and vote as one voice, is in itself very unifying and helps bond us that much closer together as a couple. I can't imagine being at odds with my partner over such basic tenets.

Of course the fact that we also share a warped sense of humor about those basic tenets doesn't hurt either!