Quote Originally Posted by Decadence
Why don’t they want the sexual part?... they are happy with a blow job each morning and night but that’s about as far as they want. I long to be taken, which I have a few times but then they seem to back off as if too scared to go any further. I do know that older men don’t have the libido they had when they were young but crumbs…. Why, if they know they don’t REALLY have the desire, do they not say so in the beginning???... or is it my fault?
I agree with the other posters who say that your only mistakes are the standard newbie ones: firstly, not negotiating in detail because you assume that you're both using the same words to mean the same thing; and second, not insisting that even as a sub, you have rights in the relationship too.

For me, making a slave come, lots and lots, preferably till she begs me to stop, is one of the loveliest parts of domination; but I know that some guys feel it's more domly to keep her starved of sex. I'm not saying they're wrong - there are probably femsubs out there who thrive on that kind of treatment - but they're clearly wrong for you. So: don't assume that just because a Dom talks a good relationship, he's the Master of your dreams. Ask, describe, discuss, negotiate. "The only dumb question is the one you don't ask."