I felt like the main character was strangely distant from the action. It was weirdly as if it was a third person story from the first person.

I would have liked to have seen the author make the character more real. There were also some very awkward sentences that made the character appear wooden. "I, luckily, etc." "I opened my legs because I knew that I could potentially." I'm going from memory, but it would have been stronger had the author wrote it like she talks.

The end was much more erotic and better than the beginning. However, the paragraphs got longer and longer.

A good story. I enjoyed it, but a little work could make it go a lot further.

-Couture