I'm very sorry to hear about your failing/ed realtionship. I'm not quite sure of your goals here, are you wanting your wife back or are you wanting to move on but not repeat mistakes?

As an impartial outsider here's my 2 cents worth.

To be brutally frank, SERIOUS alarm bells are ringing about the two of you having your primary intimate relationships with other people, on or off line. Imagine for a minute that the cyber element did not exist to perhaps see what I mean a little clearer.

Questions in my mind are, Who did you like the most, your wife or your internet partner? Did you really love your wife or did you feel you could be happier with someone else ? How much of your internet partner did you really know and how much did you imagine to fill in the gaps, perhaps more favourably than would really have been the case?

Otherwise I would have to ask if you have any strong relationships that are not internet based (the irony that I am having a highly personnal discussion with a man who admits to having a non-cyber-intimacy problem is not lost on me) ?

I hope that I am not out of order asking you such personnal questions. Best wishes. AB