A point that has not been mentioned in here is the responsibility of being a Master 24/7. The Master has an awesome responsibility to keep providing guidance and direction to the sub on a 24/7 basis. Of course this can be done by establishing rules, but that is a copout because the sub carries on doing stuff while the Dom is not actually fulfilling his role 24/7. It must take an incredible level of attention on the part of the Dom to understand what works for the sub in the relationship, and provide the necessary guidance, direction, rewards and punishment on a 24/7 basis.

I don't have a problem with any kind of sexual orientation, whether it is M/f, M/m, F/m or F/f although my personal preference is probably about 70% M/f and 30% F/m. The only problem I have with sexual orientation is if you can only declare your orientation as straight or gay. I do not feel comfortable with the idea of being 100% responsible for every decision. I like a woman who is as imaginative as myself, and games that use the ideas of both partners for mutual pleasure, including both male and female self bondage. So my view on this seems to be coloured by my own orientation, which is hardly a surprise!

In a society that is rich with activities and opportunities, although I am always conscious of my sexuality, it does not play a conscious part in everything I do, and I would not expect any different from a female partner. The satisfaction and rewards that we get from playing a part in professional, social and cultural activities are not sexual in nature, but worthwhile nevertheless. We are who we are not just because of a relationship with one person, but through all of our contributions and interactions in the larger world of society as a whole. I would not want D/S to be a conscious undercurrent in an inappropriate context.

This is not intended to be taken as a criticism of D/S relationships. I am just describing how I see them from my own perspective. BDSM is as much a part of my life as it is to anyone in here, but I am far more interested in sharing thoughts and ideas than imposing my own.

I appreciate and admire people who obviously derive great satisfaction from participation on both sides in a 24/7 D/S relationship, and evidently this applies to many of those who have contributed in here. However there are cases where a sub was unable to exit from an overly life-controlling D/S relationship that closed off the ability to express personality, and led to extreme psychological problems. The existence of problems in a few cases does not mean that it cannot work, but being aware that this can happen gives a responsibility to the Dominant partner to be willing to step back if the sub is being suffocated by it.

I feel that any kind of loving partnership requires both parties to understand each other, and put the partner's feelings and interests before their own. A good D/S relationship can evolve, but is based on a good deal of dialogue and agreement on rules and limits. It should never involve a total disregard for the interests and the personality of the sub.