Another lubricant suggestion - pjur brand Eros Basic - we bought it at our local sex shop, very pricey but great and you don't need to use buckets of it!

How we minimize the pain: first entry until it hurts, then pull out, second entry a little farther, then out, third time is "all the way", wow! I feel it from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Like an all over orgasm.