I find bondage to be the catalyst for bdsm "play". seeing my woman tied down to a point of her not being able to move anything but her eyeballs. This would surely mean that various spin-offs come into play. She is helpless -- useless -- totally dominated -- in full submission -- feeling almost like an object (and loving it) -- so total obedience automatically kicks in. Depending on what foreplay is stirred up, the endorphins build to a point that your "toy" wants more than just penetration. She leaves me to devise different methods of satisfaction -- whipping -- clips -- no pins or blood because i know the limits of her endurance -->
*thinking* this might be getting a little long winded for some but as we are all in the same circle of fantasy, I'm sure you get the drift.
Bottom line: its bondage for me with all the rest falls into place naturally.
Just play sane and safe to gain her trust and eventually, you can both extend the boundaries. Its mentally stimulating planning your next cession.
Have phunn :-[