I have hesitated to reply to this thread but I do feel strongly about 3 things.

1. Psynymph--What an amazing person you are! You are so open and forthcoming with your feelings and experiences that you are inspiring. I have read more than one of your posts with mouth agape and brain on overload. As I continue this response you may look at things just a little differently.

2. delia/Torq/AC38--d, for a 24 year old woman you are brilliant. Highly educated and by that I dont just mean schooled. I have watched when you decided to take someone under your wing and the advice and care you give is inspirational. It is sometimes confusing to realize that we are all different people at different times. There is an underlying character and yours is admirable even in the most taxing of situations. AC more which later.

3. cariad--There is perhaps no finer lady to grace these pages. When you become someones friend even they don't know how much that means to you. You are the epitome of what humans strive to become. Knowing that you will only get better I marvel.

I too, rarely frequent chat these days. There was a time I lived to be with my friends there. Not so anymore. Partially, because I have outgrown the need for the support and validation that I am OK, I am not weird, there are others like me and they are great people. So, it is possible to have my wants, needs, and desires and still be an OK person. Also, there are many more sites with chats that people frequent. In fact, I can think of 4 off hand that many of the library people can be spotted at. Yes, these days they are more often spotted at those other sites than they are here, but every one of them that I have discussed the partial exodus with longs to be back here, with things as they were. I am not sure what that means really as nothing has really changed in the couple of years I have been here except the software and a few mods here and there. Note to AC.....anyone who knows anything about computers knows there are plenty of ways around your bans. I will not discuss them here as I dont want to encourage any form of mutiny or the usurptation of your authority. Still, you must ask yourself why this is all happening now. Where there is smoke........? You may write it all off as disgruntled or spurned users, but somehow it goes even deeper. Why might I ask (rhetorically) do people seem to fly off the deep end? delia's point of less than 1% being banned is valid, still why does it project such vehemence? Why are those left behind still so emotionally affected? I think we would all agree that the key to a BDSM relationship is communication. Psy shouldn't be critizied for her attempt to share her feelings and delia should be commended for addressing the unspoken questions head on. Is anything resolved or is it just a purging of pent up emotions? Yes, you are entitled to be autocratic, however, I have seen you be the bigger man on more than one occasion. Is there an alternative? Perhaps a review committee? I am not suggesting this only providing potential options. delias point of only banning someone after being warned to stop more than once is somewhat telling. I personally, know of one banned person who admitted to me that that is exactly what happened. Is it possible when someone gets on a rant to just ban them for a day for a "cool down" period? Maybe you feel that is more than you want to do but it is a good alternative. It is your chat you may do with it as you please, but I will tell you that other sites are being bolstered by the defections. Don't care? Ok, that is your perogotive, but from my observaton that is truly uncharacteristic as I believe you want an atmosphere of unity not the divisiveness we are now seeing. Action is required, Sir.

I too, think that chat adds so much to this site that it is inseperable from the forums. I have many friends from here that would not be friends if it were not fot the immediate communications afforded us in the chat room. The give and take, the question and answer, the joke and laughter, is just too important to take seperately. What does it say about a site that is not committed to providing the best experience for it's users? When someone gets banned it doesn't just happen to them, it affects many and therein lies the reason for seeking a solution.

Those who know me, know I could go on and on for pages, but I think I have covered the major points.

cariad, feel free to edit as much or as little as you see fit.....I have implicit faith and trust in you. Oh, and point in fact, that was established during many, many conversations in chat.

Respectfully submitted by,

DTT