I just feel like coming back here for an update. After all, it was only August last year that I came to the realisation of my sub nature and needs, so it is still very new to me. I was just so lucky to find this site. I love it, it has become a great part of my life, not just for the advice and support you get from people like Tojo and Tom of Sweden (and many, many others), but for the friendship, and the artistic life I have also found here.

The man who brought me to this world has gone away, as I really always expected. I have had a couple of fun experiences in between - managed to pack a lot into a very short time - but I am now in the process of falling slowly and carefully but I think very very deeply for a wonderfully beautiful, mentally challenging, aesthetically demanding, behaviourally exacting, scarily intelligent, deeply romantic, wildly sexy, hugely interesting man here in France. Hell, I don't know many English men who can quote English poetry to me, let alone a French one... he's scary (in the best possible way). And I've never met anyone who has such a sense of building up the anticipation... brother, I'm in such trouble and loving it. More to the point, we are both in a first realisation of eachother - I met him on line, we had our first personal meeting yesterday, just lunch and talking - but we are both finding ourselves very drawn. He is not that experienced - 3 or 4 years - so we are going to be on a voyage of discovery together, I think. Early days, I know, but he has so many of what seem to me to be the right attitudes... above all, his firm belief is that it is the sub who makes the Dom, i.e. a Dom is nothing without a sub; he likes to be proud of his sub, for her to be proud of herself and what she is for him; and he believes that once you have the mind, the body will follow. Which absolutely works for me.

But, just in case - I know that I have a wonderful community of wise people and friends here, for advice and a shoulder to cry on (and I even have some wise friends, too! lol), in case it all goes horribly wrong, or just in case he pushes me too hard - I think he will push me very hard - and I'm feeling feeble.

So thanks, guys, for being here, and thanks, Tojo, for caring.