Quote Originally Posted by Yana View Post
He has some fun toys- paddles, whips, straps, cuffs, four peice bondage set, etc- but I need to know how to manipulate these things to produce the desired results.
It's always a pleasure to see people new to the lifestyle take their first steps. You're sure to find lots of interesting ideas posted throughout the message boards here, and I encourage you to read through things with your partner. This way, you'll be able to jointly identify things you both might be willing to experiement with as well as the things one or other of you find disagreeable.

It's an important part of any relationship to have good communication with each other. This is especially true for BDSM relationships where some activities can spark emotional issues that don't necessarily arise in non-BDSM relationships. Good communication enables these situations to be resolved when they occur, and even prevent them from happening in the first place.

Having said all that, you've mentioned your partner already has an assortment of fun toys. A good place for you both to start is perhaps simply talk with each other and 'play around' with things. If you talk while you play, you'll each find confidence develops. When I first started, I wanted to be the Mistress in my relationship, even though I am by nature, submissive. (I was attracted to all the wonderful Dominatrix costumes I had seen worn to the club ) I even thought the whole dominance and submission thing was rather silly at first and consequently laughed a lot until my confidence grew.

You may find yourself in similar situations initially. You and your partner might try things that feel completely unnatural or downright silly. Don't be afraid to laugh at these times - together, with each other. Given time, you'll each discover a whole world of kinky fun that will deepen your relationship in ways you'll not have thought possible.

I'll leave it to somebody else to expand on this, but there are a few 'safe practices' you should be aware of. Be sure you both become acquainted with some of the basics of bondage and whipping/flogging, for example, before engaging too heavily in these activities.

Have fun and good luck!

anonymouse