I understand what you are saying, Mobius. It is a great analogy.

BDSM is what we each make of it for ourselves. As long as we are true to ourselves, then our particular interpretation of the lifestyle is "real."

For some, reading "The Story Of O" and waving a banner that says, "I am a Dominant like Sir Stephen" is enough for them. I can choose whether or not to engage and will refrain from voicing an opinion.

If it works for them, who am I to judge?