I think that is an important part of our journey into this lifestyle - the balance between kinky sex and D/s. Some like all one, some all the other, and most a varying balance. No mix is intrinsically better than the other, only better for that particular person.
A number of people who I have met from this site are struggling either because they have not yet found the right combination for themselves, or have not accepted it.
Sorry I know that is slightly off topic, but it is something I feel strongly about, so was unable to keep quite when I saw moptop's post.
cariad