"I want to be trained"

[slavelucy]

actually the analogy is a fundemental of adolecent psychology.

Um..i wasn't referring to adolescent psychology, i was referring to the analogy as you used it, which was in specific relation to Ds. i am aware of the concept of adolescent socialization, i just don't think the analogy is wholly appropriate in adult Ds relationships.

yes training is a big part of the relationship. But there are smaller portions of a D\s relationship that don't need to be experianced with the "one"

But..wasn't it the training and not the 'smaller parts' that you were referring to?

I think the big differance here is you are monogomous

*smiles inwardly* You're not wholly correct in that assumption, but that's not important and i take your point. i wouldn't want to be trained by someone else and then passed back to my Dom, no. Ds, for me, is a relationship, not school.

I do agree with you that just because a sub is a sub she should be listening to ever guy that comes along. I do thing in a D\s social setting respect should be kept, as you are a representation of your owner. If you are rude etc then that reflects negativly on your owner.

*raises an eyebrow* Eraser, if i am inappropriately rude or offensive to someone then it reflects badly on me, lucy. It would only reflect badly on my dominant insofar as he had failed to actively encourage me both to express myself politely and the positives of doing so. Granted, at a BDSM event i would be more likely to keep my mouth shut on certain issues for a few hours, but if anyone (dominant, submissive, whoever) asked my opinion on something, i would happily respectfully give it, just as i would here.

I really don't think were that far off base of each other, as I do view the trainer/charge relationship different then I view the Master/slave relationship. But I Do think many new people learn some good things from trainers that prepare them for better relationships.

...and i don't. i think that people learn from Ds experiences with other people, just like they do with vanilla ones, in fact, just like they do with life, in general, and it is natural that every single relationship, conversation, encounter would change them slightly...but trained for another person? No. This is probably because my own dominant would be highly unlikely to want me to be trained by someone else, the reason for which is essentially two-pronged: Firstly, it's quite likely that the training wouldn't be to his taste and he'd end up having to do it all over again anyway, and secondly, well..he'd rather do it himself, that is the point in our being involved, afterall.

i agree, however, that the one point we are agreed on is that training does not equate to a Master/slave relationship, as i said before, it's only what comes after that on which we remain in disagreement.

sl