A few thoughts/questions.... of course you the author are the ultimate Dom of this entire fictional world and are not obligated to answer them. "Because I wanted it that way," is perfectly fine!

How does the narrator (did I miss his name?) feel about Lynn? This seems obvious--contempt, irritation. But it's hard to understand why, at the very beginning, he is both brutal and tender with her. Unlike a guy who might fly off the handle and slap a woman, then apologize, our hero totally jumps into the deep end with an arrangement that he can't back out of any more than Lynn can. Yet it doesn't seem to be sheer rage that motivates him--he's cold but gentle. Cold I can understand. Why gentle? (For instance, why does he use a butt plug rather than her Jesus statue? Especially since this is fiction, what made you hold back from total bloody violence?)

With this elaborate setup, it seems like he's fascinated with Lynn as much as disgusted with her. If he really hates her being around, why doesn't he just blackmail her to move out or leave him alone? (I guess because then we'd have no story!) But really, is he turned on by her? Or does he feel that sex (even more so than another type of violence or blackmail) is the most effective way to hurt her? Has he been feeling subjugated, and just enjoying having the upper hand?

I rather like Lynn's silence--not only that she doesn't talk, but that the narrator doesn't attempt to divine her feelings. In a typical story, the sub is emotional and the Dom private--I like the mysterious sub. You don't know what she's thinking, and you don't much care (for now).

If I had one suggestion to balance out the story, it would be to see a little more of the housemates *before* the day Lynn went silent. Just a day or two worth of "typical" Lynn behavior, so we can understand why the narrator is so sick of her, or possibly to build up some sexual tension between them.

Okay, sorry to be your therapist here. :-) I'm just really interested in these characters and sharing some questions I have as a reader. We don't always know what motivates characters, but when we find out, their motivations seem to propel the story.

Great work and looking forward to more!