Ok, first I want to say bravo, very clever!

I agree with Blue Monday. More active examples of Lynn's behaviour as an hyperactive member of the God squad, to establish her irritability factor, would be effective.
Many readers who have not dealt with this attitude will not quickly empathize with our hero (so his intial is S, according to the pubes, but what is his name?) It is hard to believe there are people who would monopolize every conversation and turn it to Jesus. They exist, but if you actually challenge them, they turn out to be relatively tolerable people.

I have a friend who is founder of a protest group, dedicated to protest the religious fanatics that come to New Orleans every year for Mardi Gras. If they thought it might save you, they would shove Jesus up your ass. As it is they make giant banners, shout at the sinners through megaphones, tie themselves to crosses, pass out mass amounts of paper explaining what they are shouting at you, and they have their own parade; it is easy to get irritated. An event a pre pubic S "Lynn" might have gone for a nice vacation. Can I get a witness?

Anyway, after 7 consecutive years of protesting the protestors (by doing things like bringing a giant tapestry of the last supper out to the scene for photos. They cut Jesus' face out and let people pose as Jesus for pictures) my buddy has said he has grown to "like" these people as people. They are nice enough to him as well.

With no adversary there is no excitement.

When you see someone over and over you can't help but develope an attachment, even if you are on opposing sides of a fight. He doesn't seem to be softening too fast; it is cute how bent he is on humiliating her. He just seems soft because we get to know his thoughts. On the outside he is pretty rude, but has a little mercy. All he really wants is an embarressed sex slave. At first. Even though he is just trying to be a dog and shut her up, he has a bit of a heart. This makes him human for me. I have met this guy at least 6 times in my life. Not that anyone has ever wanted to shut me up.

Now that they have seen each other repeatedly, they get along (kinda in secret.

This is the same thing that happened to my protesters. They do their best to out shout each other all day, and then say, "Hey, so how was your Mardi Gras this year?" when the sun sets. They do not end up having hot sex; they don't really like each other....oh, yikes, I think I might see where your story is going. Post it!

I believe it is possible for enemies to at least appear friendly. I think a different build (as suggested by Blue) would make it more evident. I had no problem getting into why he wanted to reem her with Jesus, as I have met those kind of preachy party poopers. I think he said he didn't want to ruin her for his cock later as to why he did not let Jesus himself fuck up her butt. Some guys tend to be a bit territorial.

Not to sound too crazy, onto my next thought. Your first person perspective is quite well done, however you might want to consider the power of a more omniscient angle. Assuming that beautiful imagination of yours has more stories clawing their way out.
When I first got serious about sitting down and writing all of my stuff was first person. It seem the most natural, after all, I was telling the story. Well, like many experiences, it made me nervous, until I tried it. Don't be scared, perhaps not in this story (you must be almost finished) but maybe try a different person next time. It is not as hard as it looks. It helped me to remove myself from my characters, freeing them to do things I would likely never do. After you get over the shyness of stepping out of third person, it can actually be quite fun. You get to be God.

I really like hearing the Dom's perspective as well.

Good God man, you just posted Chapter 4. You're a machine!

Nice work.

Beswitchingly