~hugs mari~ I feel for you, sweetie.

I rocked my son to sleep every single night for the first 18 months. He is and will be my only child and I just wanted to do it and he didn't mind a bit. Then independence hit and getting rocked to sleep became a battle. So at that point, I stopped rocking him. Then I went into developing a bedtime routine- bath, some very low key activities (read a book, work on a simple puzzle, watch a favorite DVD) and then to bed to settle on down for the night. It was just that easy.

~laughs hysterically~ Oh, I crack myself up sometimes.

It took about 3 months. I did all that stuff up there I said (the "it was easy" part was a complete fabrication, however). At first, when I started putting him in his own bed, he would scream and cry. It was awful! I'd just sit there and cry myself! And I just couldn't do it, not the way the book-writers said (the "just let 'em cry it out" theory). Don't get me wrong! Parents that decide to do it that way are doing it the way they want, and that's good for them. Didn't work for me.

So I made sure he was sleepy-sleepy, I'd put him in his bed (which is in my room) and would sit by his bed until he went to sleep. Did that for a few weeks. Then I started sitting on my bed, a few feet from his bed until he fell asleep (assuring him that mommy was "right here" the whole time). Did that for a few more weeks. Then for a few weeks, when I put him in bed, I moved out of the room to sit on the couch right outside the bedroom door. he could see me and I could see him. Again, I'd tell him that "mommy is right here". That lasted a while and at some point, he just started being okay with being in bed on his own.

We still have our nights where he wants me to hold his hand while he falls asleep. To tell you the truth, I love it when it happens. I don't encourage it, but I'll do it if he asks. It won't last long and then I'll be wishing that he'd ask to hold my hand, anytime, not just bedtime.

Some key things I do to help him:
1) I always makes sure he's sleepy enough- not too little, not too much.
2)Routine, routine, routine! Can't say that enough. And now, if I skip something, he let's me know- "Mommy, you forgot to brush my teeth." or " Mommy, I'm supposed to drink a sip of water before I get in bed."
3) I always make sure he is in the decision making process for bedtime- "ok, here's your monster pj's and your football pj's...which one you want?" and "go turn off the light for me so we can go to bed" (said in a please-will-you type way, which requires more patience than I have most nights, but I try.)
4) I leave a night-light on for him and he gets to have one stuffed animal in the bed with him. It calms him. Hey, I'm scared of the dark and I like cuddling up with something too, so I'm not saying 'no' to him doing it.

This worked for me and when I was in the middle of it all, I thought I'd pull my hair out! Not that I mind hair-pulling, but not that kind! And now, for the most part, we're good to go at nighttime.

Hope the ideas you get here help. And I think it was the perfect place to post this! Thanks for starting the conversation!

tessa