Hey lucyboy, I read your thread when it first came out and I decided to not post since I really couldn't offer any suggestions. But I did think about it, and had the initial perception that you were after the slim attractive kind of domme. You clarified that point later, but the point is that the way you worded it gave me and others that assumption. The way you also stated that dommes were only interested in ashtray type male subs also lead me to think that perhaps you had the misfortune that you only ended up meeting a particular kind of domme, or that you simply gave up to easily.

I'm not a psychologist, nor do I claim to have a high intellectual level in deciphering the human mind, but I feel that perhaps you might want to try the aggressive sub approach where you go for someone who you think you may be attracted to. I'm a switch, and never entertained the thought of being a sub only, till some members who were so increadibly submissive in nature while talking to me which led me to realize that I could perhaps one day be a dom only person.

NatalieD is merely giving her advice. I don't think she is insulting you in anyway. I actually think she raised a valid point on the whole nice guy bit. I know that in the first two years in high school, I pretty much fit that description, and later became more aggressive in pursuing relationships which was a lot more successful.

Anyway, just my two cents. I sincerely wish you the best of success with your search.