why is the bdsm scene so narrow??

[anonymouse]

lucyboy,

You wrote this earlier:

Thankyou for you're replies all of you. Wow this is refreshing. Whenever I have raised these subjects on other forums I usually receive a blizzard of anger from Dominant women who assume that I don't know what I'm talking about, and have no idea of what it is to be truly sub.

and later this:

I'm just so used to getting a negative response from Dommes when I raise this subject like I'm upsetting the status quo

Given that you've apparently broached your question in more than one other forum before here and that, by your own admission, you've stirred a lot of anger in dominant women, may I ask why you chose to post your question into the 'Questions for a Master/Mistress' forum? What I mean is, your question is one that is probably best answered by a submissive man. Have you spoken with other submissive men about your situation?

It seems to me that your experiences have all been with dominant women and, to a degree, you've approached them with the expectation they'd be hostile and "have no idea of what it is to be truly sub" (your words). You've said the same thing in various ways numerous times throughout this thread. Similarly, you've said you cannot understand a D/s dynamic in which sexual and/or physical attractiveness isn't a factor, and that's fine. Sex versus no-sex in BDSM relationships is often debated. There is no one answer and to speak in universals such as all Dommes or true submissives is something to avoid, unless you're looking to start an argument.

I'm not suggesting you're whole intent here was to start an argument but again I ask, why didn't you seek the answer to your question from fellow submissives when you plainly admit dominants have not been able to supply you with a satisfactory and sympathetic response? When I first read Natalie's response to you I was taken aback by her blunt answer. But, that's her manner and I have no issues with that. I happen to be a sucker for 'nice' men however, I don't like being played for a fool either.

That said, if you're genuine (and I'll continue to assume you are) I still think you'd have better luck in the swingers' scene. By its very nature, the swinging scene attracts women who enjoy sex and aggressively pursue it. Since sex seems to be the primary focus of your search and since BDSM doesn't always focus on sex, it seems logical then that your odds of success would be better in the swingers scene. That's my honest opinion, anyway.

Good luck!

anonymouse