why is the bdsm scene so narrow??

[diamondcontrol]

Don't get stuck on my use of the word sex, male subs are in many circumstances deemed not worthy of intimacy or a relationship of any kind beyond public play or a round of pain and humiliating domestic duties once in a while.

Why are you assuming that the male subs don't crave a round of pain, humiliation, domestic duties? Many do.

I think that it cannot be healthy for guys to to be hoping for something that they will never get.

Have you heard of "The Secret" - if you send this negative attitude out into the world - you never will get anything merely because you don't expect to get anything.

Maybe it would be better all round if some subs stood up for themselves and refused to give their submission to Dommes who refused to acknowledge them as anything but a sub. . . .

I agree entirely. No sub, male or female, should ever give their submissions to a Dom/me who does not fulfill that sub's needs. I really find it impossible to believe I am the only Domme who thinks this way.

But when I change the genders. The reaction is well she is entitled to it and if the bloke is happy who am I to argue, so what if he wants more he should be happy getting something.........

There are double standards here.

Pardon me, but this is bull. I have seen no one in this thread say a person (male or female) should be happy/content with getting anything less than what that person wants in a relationship.

There are many sub guys living unfulfilled lives and being exploited by women who use them to do the cleaning inflict a bit of pain and send them packing before she goes to meet her husband, female lover or Dom partner.

But this is seen as a positive thing not exploitation. 'You go girl', 'shes worth it' and 'he should consider himself lucky'.

This is not exploitation if these are the ways in which a sub chooses to serve. If you don't choose to serve in this way, fine. A good Domme will use a sub in a way which best suits her and the individual sub. For example, I am corresponding with an attorney sub. Domestic chores would obviously play a minimal part of any service I would expect from him. I am also corresponding with another sub who longs to serve domestically. When I told him I am too possessive to ever share a sub, he "suggested" that perhaps I might instruct my sub to wash my friend's car when she comes to visit. Which actually brings me to the question - exactly how are you submissive? - you consider service, pain, submitting to a Domme's control and desires "unfulfilling" and "exploitation." Perhaps the others are correct in advising you to seek a vanilla woman.

Diamondcontrol