(I am assuming that you are straight as I am writing for word usage purposes.)

Not being in the life all that long my experienc is rather limited but here is the one peice of advice that I can give.

Experiment. Remember to keep it Safe, Sane, Consensual, but experiment. Play with your sub and learn what she is like where her tollerances are.

Also talk to your sub, tell her your concerns and then talk. If you want to learn her limits and such. We are Dom's not gods. Without getting to know the other how will we learn how to deal.

You may also want to go down to the local Sex shops and put up an advertisment stating that you want to learn how to use X items properly, and see what comes of that.