Quote Originally Posted by Eclipsed


Can anyone help me with setting down ground rules and boundries in a new relationship?

Welcome Eclipsed, I am not sure where you want to begin, I know for me, after much determination and research, I had decided to join this forum, it is amazingly wonderful and useful. Anyway, I knew for starter's what my hard limits were, like Chksng19 has put, and from there, I took the list as he mentioned. I answer them with honesty and to the best of my knowledge, there are questions sometimes that i wasn't sure what it meant, but overtime and posting here you can learn even more.

Now, with my online experience, each and every Dom/me/Master has there own idea's of how the want there sub/slave to perform, the best way to find out is to ask what they expect. Know how you want to be treated. If your online Dom has any integrity they will be patience understanding, and know the very essence of playing safe,sane,and consenously just as Chksng has said.

From my first experience and I have only had a couple of encounters, which amounts to about zero, I found that I was first not prepared to be used and thrown away. So when you do go r/t, I would recommend first getting to know them first. If the first thing out of there mouth is "strip assume position" then I would run from the site immediately. Like I should of done.

I now know that it takes time, just like vanilla dating to build trust with one's Dom/Master and again if he knows what he's doing he won't expect you to perform on the first encounter or even the second, but give you some tasks to perform to make sure you are ready to submit. Then when you mutually agree it will be time to submit to him.

Last but most important, meet him first in public, have a safe call to insure your saftey, anyone just so he knows you won't come up as a missing person, or even worse. Make sure someone knows his name and email and all pertinant info. YOU MUST BE SAFE!!

I hope this makes some sense. Time is on your side, and with some patience don't comprise yourself and accept everything he tells you as gospel. In a very nice submissive manner you should be able to challenge and ask questions at any time.

Take care
T