Quote Originally Posted by slavelucy
On a personal note, interestingly, once i'd become established in a Ds relationship, i actually became more selective in who i pleased and how far i would put myself out to keep trying to please people in my life.
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That's great!! I'm so bad at saying no, that I've often missed deadlines trying to make sure everyone else got theirs in on time!! I've been trying to learn to put my foot down, but all someone has to do is make the impression that it's really REALLY important, and I cave... or look like if I say no, they'll get mad. One reason I don't date often.

Quote Originally Posted by slavelucy
How do you mean, 'iffy'?
Oh, when I say iffy, it just seems that he isn't really confident about somethings... and i can tell and that makes ME even more unsure and uneasy. I don't really know what i'm doing... I mean research and theory r great, but may not hold up in real-life, and it's hard to deal w/ that uncertainty plus the uncertainty of a new relationship and then topped of w/ how he sounds uncertain.

Quote Originally Posted by slavelucy
i also don't like the sound of punishing you for saying you're not into something...that's like punishing someone because they don't like icecream..unless that wasn't what you meant and you meant it was the way you said it or something?
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No, he didn't punish me for not being into something. According to TG's "7 types of submissive" thread, I'm predominantly a SAM subbie. I like to yank on people's tails, and poke fun at them... but only if it's in good fun!! I'm a big goof ball and hve an unfortunate habit of not knowing when to quit while i'm ahead. I was just poking fun at him and he got fed up w/ it and punished me. Normally, I'd think i deserve that, but, I'd told him earlier in a pm that I really wasn't into this certain thing,I might maybe try it later... much later, and he used that to punish me in the main room.

Quote Originally Posted by slavelucy
Right, i'll be quiet. Hope all this is of some help.
Oh please, i really enjoyed hearing what you had to say and you made some very good points!! It's helped a lot, it really has!! I just need to figure out how to say all this to him. Our relationship has gone SO fast, now i want to dig in my heels and say, "Wait... back up a step or dozen!"