Well thanks for the input, everyone - it is appreciated.

I guess the biggest reason I asked is because you never hear about the submissive taking the initiative and starting a scene. Some, I think, would say that would be dominating from the bottom, telling the dominant what you want when you want it.

Pandora - you make some valid points. I am not the (how did you put it?) the type to say "I need to be whipped/fucked/tortured" either.

And I guess what turns me off from initiating a scene is that is usually leads to sex and most nights, I am not in the mood for sex. I am not a physical person. Never have been - so I guess that is part of my problem.

The other is that I don't want to "be a bother." If he is doing something he is enjoying, like playing a game, I don't want to "disturb" him - even though he says it wouldn't.

Again, thanks for the input and keep it coming. (If you have anything to say that is lol)