questions about creating a scene

[AndrewBlack]

Sounds great to me, you did your research and tried to find some common ground. You were flexible and resonsive to your sub. I guess you've got to find out 'how was it for them' but I bet you any money that they will tell you that they loved it.

I tend to make mental notes of things that I want to try when I'm not actually doing it so I have a small library of things to do. Then if something is needed you're already halfway there and you don't come across all 'hmmm, wonder what happens if I tie this bit to this bit....' and you know what you're doing. That's where confidence comes from. For example, you want to restrain your sub standing with her hands away from her bottom, it's a good idea to know how to do it before you need it. If I haven't got a good plan for something then I won't do it, but will make a note that it's something to have a plan for next time. Anything I'm unsure about I'll research and/or try on myself when I'm alone. I don't like to do things that 'don't work' so just a bit of forthought really works for me and then when you're actually doing it you're confident cos you aren't winging it and you can be thinking about something else, like fucking with your subs head at the same time for example.

I'm sure I don't need to mention that it's a safe approach too; but I will

How did you find it? Did it turn you on or were you wishing you were on the receiving end?

[craftygirl]

Sounds great to me, you did your research and tried to find some common ground. You were flexible and responsive to your sub. I guess you've got to find out 'how was it for them' but I bet you any money that they will tell you that they loved it.

Well thank you. He has gone MIA, so I'm honestly a bit concerned. I talked to him after he got home on Sunday night ... haven't talked since. I've left him a couple messages -- just hi, how ya feeling -- but if I don't hear from him by the weekend I"ll probably try again. I am feeling a bit ......... hmm, protective? I want to know how the boys are doing, and how the boy is doing. But I'm also not too freaked out about it, as he tends to be kind of quiet in general. I'm thinking that perhaps no answer is not a good indication that there may be another time, but who knows. *shrug*

Then if something is needed you're already halfway there and you don't come across all 'hmmm, wonder what happens if I tie this bit to this bit....' and you know what you're doing. If I haven't got a good plan for something then I won't do it, but will make a note that it's something to have a plan for next time.

That was my MO, too. I was cracking myself up practicing knot tying (and hey, a french bowline is handy, hmm?) but rather crack myself up beforehand and be prepared, than crack something in the middle of playing. :yuck:

Anything I'm unsure about I'll research and/or try on myself when I'm alone. I don't like to do things that 'don't work' so just a bit of forthought really works for me and then when you're actually doing it you're confident cos you aren't winging it and you can be thinking about something else, like fucking with your subs head at the same time for example.

Oh I'm a long ways from that, yet, but yeah. And I do the same thing -- research and try on myself as much as I can. I think that is part of my lack of confidence -- seeing as I don't have the requisite equipment to try CBT on myself, I couldn't really practice, just read a lot ahead of time.

I'm sure I don't need to mention that it's a safe approach too; but I will

It is always worth repeating.

How did you find it? Did it turn you on or were you wishing you were on the receiving end?

Weeeelllllll ......... I still am not sure about this. Parts of it I really enjoyed, and think if I knew more what I was doing I definitely want to try again. In fact one or two things, I want to learn what to do so I can try it again and really get into it more! (*giggle*) Parts of it, I'll only do again if he had a good time and wants to do it again. And I couldn't really get turned on, because I was too focused on what I was doing, and couldn't get my mind to go anywhere else than "oh god Shan don't cut this boy's balls"

LOL

[Adamoverjules]

My biggest plan for a scene is simply what I do at night...which, I have a feeling, you don't do too much of. I go to sleep. I read a couple stories before I go to bed, get myself in that certain frame of mind, then just doze off. I usually have a dream about what I would like to do, and while that doesn't have to be exactly what happens in the scene obviously, it's a good starting point. I'ts a lot easier to realize what you want when you aren't trying to think of it. Of course, during the scene, things are likely to change, due to mood, time, feelings, wants, what have you...but thats always going to happen.

[Nightstriker]

With my lack of any real life experience in sceneing I am gonna toss my hat into this.

The simplest that I can say is just do what feels right. Know what you and your partner both like and then just go nuts. Move from one activity to the other, if a break from the intensity is needed take one as you prepare for the next or bind them all together and just have one long night of pleasure.

The next one is slightly more complex. Choose a list of activities that you want to do that night. Do not assign them an order but numbering them could be useful. Then choose one at random and start there, moveing from one activity to the next, and once again enjoy yoruselves. If you miss an activity forget about it. Don't worry and don't stress.

[craftygirl]

With my lack of any real life experience in sceneing I am gonna toss my hat into this.

The simplest that I can say is just do what feels right. Know what you and your partner both like and then just go nuts. Move from one activity to the other, if a break from the intensity is needed take one as you prepare for the next or bind them all together and just have one long night of pleasure.

I think that's where I'm feeling a little conflicted, NS. Not having heard the debrief from him, I think I took things a bit lighter than he wanted.

That being said, I did what I was comfortable with, and I'm pretty satisfied with that too.

Thanks everyone :-)

cg

[Nightstriker]

I think that's where I'm feeling a little conflicted, NS. Not having heard the debrief from him, I think I took things a bit lighter than he wanted.

That being said, I did what I was comfortable with, and I'm pretty satisfied with that too.

Thanks everyone :-)

cg

Fair enough, though just remember, Safe, Sane, Consensual. If the actions you are takeing violates any of these words then don't do it. Though talking with him about it soon would be a good idea. *I say beleive that you already know it.*

[craftygirl]

just remember, Safe, Sane, Consensual. If the actions you are takeing violates any of these words then don't do it. Though talking with him about it soon would be a good idea. *I say beleive that you already know it.*

Oh obviously NS. Which is why I didn't do any more than I did -- while he may be able to handle it, I was certain I couldn't. (And I did have a few moments of OMG later in the night, but they were kind of exciting ones. As in "OMG I can't believe I was that bold.")

And in a quick follow on note, talked to him briefly tonight. We are on neutral ground -- he had fun, and we'll get together again if other life schedules and things permit.

I'm kind of digging this.

cg