Quote Originally Posted by AndrewBlack
Sounds great to me, you did your research and tried to find some common ground. You were flexible and responsive to your sub. I guess you've got to find out 'how was it for them' but I bet you any money that they will tell you that they loved it.
Well thank you. He has gone MIA, so I'm honestly a bit concerned. I talked to him after he got home on Sunday night ... haven't talked since. I've left him a couple messages -- just hi, how ya feeling -- but if I don't hear from him by the weekend I"ll probably try again. I am feeling a bit ......... hmm, protective? I want to know how the boys are doing, and how the boy is doing. But I'm also not too freaked out about it, as he tends to be kind of quiet in general. I'm thinking that perhaps no answer is not a good indication that there may be another time, but who knows. *shrug*

Then if something is needed you're already halfway there and you don't come across all 'hmmm, wonder what happens if I tie this bit to this bit....' and you know what you're doing. If I haven't got a good plan for something then I won't do it, but will make a note that it's something to have a plan for next time.
That was my MO, too. I was cracking myself up practicing knot tying (and hey, a french bowline is handy, hmm?) but rather crack myself up beforehand and be prepared, than crack something in the middle of playing. :yuck:

Anything I'm unsure about I'll research and/or try on myself when I'm alone. I don't like to do things that 'don't work' so just a bit of forthought really works for me and then when you're actually doing it you're confident cos you aren't winging it and you can be thinking about something else, like fucking with your subs head at the same time for example.
Oh I'm a long ways from that, yet, but yeah. And I do the same thing -- research and try on myself as much as I can. I think that is part of my lack of confidence -- seeing as I don't have the requisite equipment to try CBT on myself, I couldn't really practice, just read a lot ahead of time.

I'm sure I don't need to mention that it's a safe approach too; but I will
It is always worth repeating.

How did you find it? Did it turn you on or were you wishing you were on the receiving end?
Weeeelllllll ......... I still am not sure about this. Parts of it I really enjoyed, and think if I knew more what I was doing I definitely want to try again. In fact one or two things, I want to learn what to do so I can try it again and really get into it more! (*giggle*) Parts of it, I'll only do again if he had a good time and wants to do it again. And I couldn't really get turned on, because I was too focused on what I was doing, and couldn't get my mind to go anywhere else than "oh god Shan don't cut this boy's balls"

LOL