I wasn't going to post here because I figured I'd already said hi elsewhere, but perhaps I can share more here.

My name is Kelli. I became aware of my submissive desires about a month ago. Initially, I falsely believed that I had "become" a sub. But in the past week and half or so I have begun to realize that, on some level, I have always been a sub.

Another false perception I had in the beginning was that these desires were of a purely sexual nature. That, quite frankly, made me a little uneasy. The more I learn about the lifestyle and myself, the more I realize that what I feel is deeply emotional as well as sexual.

I've been fortunate to find that the few friends I've shared this discovery with, have been immensely helpful, and not at all judgmental. It was through one of these friends that I found my way to this site.

In my reading, I was relieved when I made the observation that so very many of the D/s relationships, it seems to me, are built on a very deep mutual love and sense of trust that the Dom's and sub's share for one another.

I have "played" with a couple of friends, testing the waters, but it's never enough. I am inclined to believe that a primary reason for this is because "playtime" with friends provides no emotional fulfillment; so much of what I feel is a desire to give myself completely to the man that already has my heart. Also, as it has been online play, it really lacks true sexual fulfillment as well.

I am quite certain that there are still holes in my thinking, and I know I still have much to learn. In that line, I've been wondering about this Academy I keep seeing mentioned.