Quote Originally Posted by craftygirl
... I am curious as to how other folks approach this.

Hmmm … How do I approach a scene ?

Well, I actually put fairly little thought into it and anything specific that I do think of beforehand I often don’t get round to doing. When I first started online I would try to set out a scene in my head, even sometimes making notes so that I could hold the action together, but I soon found that one of us was either ahead or behind the game plan. It was absolutely no use thinking ‘but you aren’t supposed to cum for another 5 minutes’ when lucy was obviously at the ‘right’ point now (on the other hand, a bit of cum dep is never a bad thing !!!).

Anyway, I soon gave up thinking about it too hard and just went with the flow. That seemed to be pretty good online and when we moved to real life, I just continued the same way. Apart from maybe wanting to use a certain toy, or thinking that a certain position might be good, I really don’t plan ahead much.

Now that I think about it, this is a bit scary and maybe I will fall flat on my face one day, but at the moment my mind seems to be full of so many different ways to play, that I don’t see a time when I will be standing over her thinking ‘wtf shall I do now?’

One thing that I do find helps a scene along, is that I quite often concentrate on a certain area. So one scene may be more based on humiliation with her on her knees for a long time, verbal play, maybe even some role, while at the same time mixing in some ‘standard’ BDSM. Another scene may concentrate on nipple torture with pegs going on, off, being twisted, pulled, added to, etc, as the scene progresses, again with other BDSM elements mixed in but with the emphasis on how cruel I can be to just one part of her body. Equally, however, I sometimes throw in a whole mix of things as I move around her body amusing myself with whatever part is available or that I feel like playing with.

While I agree that feedback after a scene is very important, we have always had feedback IN a scene as well. This is invaluable as a guide to what is good or bad, and also allows a break in the emotional pressure which can sometimes be close to overwhelming. To say that we run the whole gamut of emotions in a scene would be pretty close to the truth (.. er .. ok .. so ‘I’ don’t scream and cry, that’s lucy’s role ... but we do both laugh a lot).

This is something which started when we were only online. We would write our ‘real’ thoughts in brackets in the middle of a scene and this has just continued in real life. It can be invaluable in keeping the scene on track, helping develope a particularly good part, or even keeping us both aware that this IS real life. When lucy begs not to be whipped it is a huge turn on, but sometimes the practical point that she will be doing something in a couple of days where having marked thighs (for instance) just isn’t going to be sensible, needs to be said and the ability to say this in a scene without ruining the moment is something that only comes when two people are very in tune.

We also take breaks and will discuss what we have been doing and what we are about to do. These breaks are only about two cigarettes long because discussions like this just lead us into the next part of the scene.

So, to sum up, I usually don’t think about it beforehand but sometimes I do. I will concentrate on one thing or do a small bit of everything. We chat in a scene as we go, as we take a break and at the end. I think this all says that you should do what is best for you. If you are confident enough in your partner then pre-planning probably isn’t very necessary, but if you aren’t sure how your partner will react then what you did in the way of trying to discover his limits and particular pleasures was an excellent way to start.

*looks back up at the question and wonders if I have been of ANY help at all*