Thanks again for the interest. Thoughts build up on top of each other so much as we grow up that it is hard to peel the onion or wind the clock back and remember what it was really like the first time with fresh eyes. I have written an update that tries to capture my true feelings and motivations better but it is too big to post here in one part (> 10k bytes).

I have submitted it as a story to bdsmlibrary but the version out there right now is the old one. The update should get through in a few days, i'll post a notice here when that is done.

-voltsjolts