LTP,

In my experience, a D/s relationship is balanced only when all parties involved are happy and getting what they need. Your fantasies are very valid and should be heeded, even if he is "not particularly interested" and to insult them is very callous of him.

I can only relate from personal experience as there are things that TG likes that I don't particularly care for (intrest wise) but since I do not find them revolting, I am willing to do them. As you said, anal is not enjoyable for you. I can sympathize. It isn't my favorite either and ever since having my daughter, I have not been able to do it without a large amount of...discomfort, but I am willing to try and 'fix' that problem. And TG is willing to do things that aren't particularly stimulating for him, like giving me writing and reading assignments. If I had a fantasy, I am sure that he would go out of his way to give it to me (within reason of course).

One thing you did say kind of hit wrong with me that makes me perhaps fear for your safety. It was when you said:

"So I did nothing and eventually about three weeks ago he let me know how angry he was for coming to this site. He feels that people come here to meet others to play with only. I explained that I come here to learn mostly, but have made some good friends! And I have! He said I shouldn't tell people his business or mine. It should only be between he and I.

This, to me sounds dangerous as in he is overly possessive and he is trying to dictate who you can speak to and share your personal life with. It is your life and you should be able to share it with whom ever you choose. You are a human being and not an object. And, being human, you have the right to share and communicate with others. What I fear for you is that he may have the feeling or idea that he must possess you completely and if he feels that you may leave him, the "If I can't have her, no one will" attitude will show up.

Maybe I am being paranoid, but I would rather be paranoid than dead. I would suggest that when you meet, do so in a very public place. If anything feels off with him, if his demeanor has changed, leave.

My ultimate advice is to break off any sort of relations with him. I don't mean to be alarming nor am I trying to instill fear in you, but I have a bad vibe about this.