Quote Originally Posted by DONATIEN
Once again, I find myself in absolute agreement with you PE, reality is murkier and more complicated than TG's excellent but slightly idealistic essay implies.

Suppose for example , a young natural submissive, with extreme fantasies of an abusive nature , meets and is taken off her feet, by an older dominant sadist, who starts moulding her to his tastes. AT this point the relationship may indeed be mutually consensual; but does that consent, therefore make it not 'abusive', even though her need for degradation , being matched by his need to degrade, results in no safe words and no limits to her abuse. It could be that the implicit imbalance between their ages, maturity of mind, experience of the world, the differential power balance in their external world ( e.g teacher/pupil, doctor/patient, boss/ employee) , compounded by her own psychological needs, removes any of the normal checks and balances, so that over time a form of of brain washing occurs, such as occurs in the stockholm syndrome ( like occurred to patty hearst), or in many abusive relationships, with the result that though the sub still fervently believing that she is fulfilling her own needs and desires in agreeing to escalating abuse, has in fact lost perspective and has effectively become brain washed, albeit to some extent of her own volition.
Idealistic? :hmmm:

What you are describing isn't BDSM, though. It doesn't fall into the area of an SSC relationshp at all, because neither of them are safe or sane. It's also doesn't fall into the areas of a RACK relationship either, since the submissive partner is obviously not aware of the risk.

BDSM implies much, much more than consent. It implies a healthy commitment, a safe environment, and an agreement of mutual respect from each partner. The situation you describe in your example is none of those things. It's just simply pshychological and physical abuse disguised behind the banner of a supposed BDSM relationship.

In your example, both parties need therapy, not each other.