by being a doormat i mean that..it's yes Master no Master never an opinion of your own..maybe i don't understand the conception of control..i've never had a real relationship with a real Dom/Master as i've found out to my detriment...and so now i have to learn all over again..trust ha i trust too easily that's my problem..and sure i'd love to be a happy doormat, as long as one understands a doormat isn't something that just lies there and takes it..a few of my friends have told me i'm too much of a free spirit to ever be owned..but being owned is a decision, is it not? damn as usual i don't make much sense..