Been so busy, I just read through this thread.

Congrats on the big "no to a meeting". You go girl and keep going far away from him.

Send him a letter/e-mail? Sure, as long as its short, sweet and to the point. Something like a "cease and desist" letter will do.

From this moment, I am no longer your submissive and do not acknowledge you as my master. You shall honor me and my wishes by no longer contacting me. blah, blah, blah.

Harsh, but worth it and it will give you not only that sense of closure that TG mentioned, but puts the power back in your hands. He has no right to contact you and if he tries you can get a restraining order. You don't need his bullcrap. Period.

The long letter about what went wrong? Write it for yourself. He won't get it and you don't need it in his hands. Write it, print it, store it someplace when you want to remember lessons learned or burn the thing. But he doesn't deserve to see it.

It's all about respect and he didn't get you enough, if any.

A big hug from California and wishing you the best.