My return / Doubts about BDSM

[Flaming_Redhead]

My best friend is supposedly "vanilla," but she had sex on a park bench in Savannah and again on the windowsill of her 3rd story hotel room. LOL I don't have doubts about what I like being "wrong" in some way. I have doubts that I can handle the reality of BDSM. I want very much to be pushed...to withstand some pretty intense scenes....but I don't appear to be handling it very well at all. *sigh* I don't like being treated like a child and having the scene completely stopped even though I only said "yellow." I don't like having my friends not do something they like in front of me because of a silly phobia of paddles. *smiles* However, I am grateful that the people I love care enough about my mental health to recognize that which I often don't....which is that sometimes I just need to slow down. I have a tendency to rush in, consequences be damned, like I'm Super Sub!!! lol

*whispers* I'll just be over here sitting in the corner while the big boys and girls get to play with all the fun, albeit scary, toys.

[tessa]

*whispers* I'll just be over here sitting in the corner while the big boys and girls get to play with all the fun, albeit scary, toys.

~whispers~ Can I come sit with you, 'cause I find some of it pretty scary, too. Wanna hold hands? Might not seem like such a big deal if we do...please?