Hi goodgirl_85,
I always start out telling people I have no credentials to criticism anyone since I have all of 6 English courses to my credit. I only comment from a "Like, Don't Like" perspective. You've been warned!
I don't usually like a first person singular stories, but I think you successfully pulled this one off by pacing the action sequences well. The action was interesting in it's variety, and logical in it's progression, and I got carried away by it to the point I thought the first person singular was the only way to describe it.
Net result: I still have trouble with the first person...but I was glad I read it because the action was done so well
TG