[QUOTE=duktig flicka]I need to get some things off my chest in order to be able to ask a question I really need to ask. These have always been deep, dark secrets that I have not shared with anyone - except for my boyfriend in a very vague manner - so please forgive me if I'm not handling this appropriately.

Duktig,

I was abused as a child too. My bondage fantasies began long before the abuse. For instance, I have always loved being scared. I was watching that chessy horror flick waxworks and the part with the Marquis de Sad come on. That was it for me. I was 7. I think the problem you are having is that people believe it is impossible for a person to suffer abuse and come out with a healthy view on sexuality. I am here to tell you that is a myth. I think the part you are missing is that Bdsm is suppose to be fun. At least in my opinion it's just a game. I want a guy who can PLAY dangerous in bed but is a teddy bear in real life. I think that is pretty normal.

If you needed me to pin point for you some psychological reasoning behind my affinity for this lifestyle, I am more incline to believe its the fact I was a preacher's daughter. Or perhaps its because I am a control freak. Either way I don't think it really matters. What matters is being comfortable with who you are, and finding someone who you are comfortable with too.

I hope I don't offend anyone. This is just my view. I hope it helps.