LOL to the fruit-by-the-foot. In all honesty, a friend once dared me to do that anyway. Maybe it was just my inner kinkster rearing it's head, but I took that dare...

Tried WontWorry's pencil gag. Quite effective and uncomfortable! I can see myself doing that again for sure! Except I might need stronger elastics...I found that if I tried hard enough, I could slip my tongue out from between the pencils.

Also found some particularly devious clothespins lying around. They're plastic with small teeth to them. Funny enough, they've gone missing from the house's junk drawer, and I haven't the foggiest idea where they went...

And yes, students CAN afford condoms. But not many.