Quote Originally Posted by Finding_Fantasy
The reason he has an opinion about that is because he always asks how certain things make me feel - myself and others that we have had the experience to do real life activities with. He has had a fair basis for comparison. His opinion is based on what others have told him (I always figured all the questions were for a reason. lol)

I think what bothers me is that I know that DS is not all about sex but that is pretty much all you see and read about. A large portion of people allude to the idea that if you are not a brazen slut who likes to get fucked six ways from Sunday in every kinky way possible or doesn't get horny from being beaten then they are not a good submissive - that you can'y be a good submissive.

Hardly anyone talks about the other elements. They only talk about the activities that got them aroused. It sometimes makes me feel that there really isn't anything else to BDSM so what's the point of continuing and that, perhaps, I am not a submissive because of what the general population alludes as to what makes a good submissive. You don't read about how someone artistically a cup of coffee or what have you, only how they were beaten silly, got outrageously horny, and then being fucked into a coma. Little to nothing is said about all the rest. I've looked for the rest, but all I come up with is sex.
FF,
I would love to read of your experiences as a submissive. I truly don't think being beaten would make me horny either but at this point I really wouldn't know. I understand where you are coming. I don't feel like I fit in either sometimes but what I have learned is that if you are doing what makes your Dom and you feel good then it is right. I truly would love to hear about the non-sexual type of submissiveness. The urge to please and serve someone on a more basic and mental level. This is the part of being a submissive that I can't seem to grasp totally. Everyone talks about a submissive mindset and it means different things to different people. While I can perform my tasks successfully I feel like I have still not succeeded because I do not do it all for my master's pleasure. So in some people’s eyes I have the wrong mind set for a submissive and need to be trained to have the right mindset. This will never happen for me. While I can be commanded to do tasks I can’t be force to feel something I really don’t. So your submissiveness really intrigues me. One that is more on a mental level and emotional level. I hope you start talking about the other elements. I believe there are a lot of sub’s that feel the way you do and are just to shy to talked about it. I personally need to hear this kind of discussion from people other than Doms. I want the Sub’s point of view. Thanks FF

Jade