Sex, Sex, Sex... It's All About the Sex

[slavelucy]

And while it's perfectly beautiful for a sub to come to my home, make the best sweet iced tea in the world, and then serve it to me, it really couldn't possibly compare with the act of accepting any part of my body in to hers to please me.

*smiles* Yes, exactly. i mean, i wasn't trying to suggest that having someone prepare a drink or a meal wasn't submissive or lovely, indeed it gives me immense satisfaction to make such things 'right' for WW, but i feel it's bringing sex down to a base gritty level to suggest that it is less mentally fulfilling, and i was suprised to see that. Plus, there's the simple fact that to be honest, part of being submissive means that i pretty much want things to be right for anyone for whom i make a drink and/or prepare food, whoever the guest was, i'd be keen for them to enjoy any sustenance i proffered but i don't offer to give blow jobs to everyone (er, obviously!), which sets it apart, IMO.

In honesty, we don't call the relationship of a mother and a child D/s because there's an unhealthy sexual connotation there. While D/s can mean so much more than sex, once D/s in introduced into a sex life, it tends to mean that sexuality is very D/s-centric from then on.

So, to put it simply, D/s may not be all about sex, but try telling sex that.

Wow. Well said. And what an interesting point. Am i in a Ds relationship when i have dinner guests in my home and want things to be right for them? Surely not! That's an extreme example, but the intellectual point remains the same and it's a seriously good one.

I would imagine it would be similar for a BJ, if she really doesn't like it, would it be any good and would I then want it or would I want it just because I could make her do it?

i see what you mean, but i was actually talking about the feelings from the sub side and not yours (the dom). The issue was about which action promotes an increased quality of mental submission (that's not to say the dom perspective wouldn't be interesting btw) and although i take your point about if someone doesn't want to do it, it's not the same because your forced her, i feel the complete opposite. i admit i don't particularly like giving head, so for me to do so with care, well, i happen to think that's quite a selfless act and it DOES require some degree of mental submission on my part.

I'm not sure where I'm going here. I think I'm trying to say that while all submissive acts aren't sexual, without the sexual undercurrent they become meaningless to a D/s relationship. I might as well pay Rita to make the tea because she is better at it.

Great point PE, nice one. And pretty similar (although better put) to what i said about wanting things to be right for dinner guests. Oh, and i don't think you are off topic, i think you're very much ON topic actually!

sl