Quote Originally Posted by subthoughts
I wonder about this a good deal. I am sexually submissive, but in my everyday life I am almost absurdly toppish. While flipping that switch in my head is very do-able in a sexual situation, and while I love to do the little things for people I care about as an expression of my affection, I have never made the leap to having a long-term relationship in which service was a feature. Perhaps I just don't have it in me, or perhaps none of my partners has happened to want that. But I feel a little bashed by reading that sexualized submission is somehow 'less than' service oriented submission. It's tough enough to find a way to walk this non-mainstream path without being told that what you feel is inadequate. Ouch.
You made good points in your post, but I want you to know you're not alone in this bit. It's different for everyone, for some people (myself included) it's all (or mostly) sexual. For others it's not. Don't let anyone make you feel that what you do is right or wrong, it's what works for you. When I first started reading this thread I actually thought "if anyone tried to use me as a footstool I'd deck them" but at the same time, I make a mean cup of tea for my hubby and serve it to him. I also appear the dominant partner in my relationship to friends and I'm often the one giving orders in my work life. To sum up that little tangent, it's all about what works for you.

I'll admit I haven't read all the posts in this thread, so sorry if I just repeated something someone has already said!