Sex, Sex, Sex... It's All About the Sex

[e.b.]

I wonder about this a good deal. I am sexually submissive, but in my everyday life I am almost absurdly toppish. While flipping that switch in my head is very do-able in a sexual situation, and while I love to do the little things for people I care about as an expression of my affection, I have never made the leap to having a long-term relationship in which service was a feature. Perhaps I just don't have it in me, or perhaps none of my partners has happened to want that. But I feel a little bashed by reading that sexualized submission is somehow 'less than' service oriented submission. It's tough enough to find a way to walk this non-mainstream path without being told that what you feel is inadequate. Ouch.

subthoughts,

You are NOT at all inadequate. I had a similar reaction when first reading the early portions of the thread. However, I believe the original post was meant to show the validity of non-sexual forms of submission. I don't think it was necessarily meant to belittle those of us that serve in other ways although it was a bit harsher than I think was necessary.

As you can see from my previous posts to this thread, I am both service-oriented and sexually-oriented in my submission. Since I do both, I think that I have the insight into each to say that both are challenging in equal but different ways. I would never even think of telling another sub that he or she was somehow "less of a sub" for choosing to serve in a purely domestic OR a purely sexual fashion. I'd also bet that most members of the forums would agree with us on this one that each sub should be respected for her excellence in WHATEVER area(s) she chooses.

I am also in complete agreement that we need to show acceptance to all the varied members of our lifestyle if we ever expect those outside the lifestyle to show that same acceptance.

Thanks for your post...I'm glad you spoke up! And welcome to the forums!! There are lots of great people here...I know I've learned from many and consider them good friends.

Take care,

eb