Quote Originally Posted by Sir Lanceloth
Perhaps its just me only wanting relationships where i know, respect and love the person i am with. I have newer tried a "one night stand" and must admit to not wanting to. Perhaps that is why i cant see a relationship where commitment can exist without there being love. Perhaps it lies in the definition of a relationship, which for me implies either friendship (which includes a fealing of love for the friend) or a boyfriend or girlfriend.

I think many people tend to look too marrowly at the term "relationship." A relationship does not simply indicate marriage, a boyfriend-girlfriend, or a dominant-submissive aspect. A relationship can be defined by many other types of partnerships and friendships.

A mentor/trainer-submissive/slave relationship, for instance is a fine example of an "outside of the box" relationship. A mentor or trainer trains a submissive pr slave for the benefit of a third party. Certainly, the trainer and submissive have a relationship, they have to trust one another, communicate well, etc. But I do not think they love on another. Since a trainer is supposed to objectively train the submissive in a variety of disciplines, positions and techniques, his objectivity would be compromised by feelings of love and closeness.

Another example of a non-standard relationship is that of the top and bottom. These people may only meet at play parties every week or so, but in many cases both tops and bottoms have partners they enjoy playing with more than others. The top will seek out certain bottoms or vice versa, and a relationship does exist, even with a certain level of commitment, but I would venture again to say that neither of them loves the other.

This is why I chose not to write the article to which I had made mention earlier in this thread. It's just too hard to put some relationships into words and to define many forms of non-standard relationships.

And even in standard relationships, it's not necessarily required for people to love one another. I have many friends with which I speak and give advice and have a generally friendly relationship, but I don't love them. I enjoy their company, I enjoy the friendship we share, and I trust and communicate with many of them, but I don't feel love toward them.

So, in my view, it is not necessary to feel love to have a working relationship. It is, however, necessary to understand that the term can mean many more things than people tend to think it can mean.