Safewords, Slowwords, Signals, Codes

[Ruby]

Ranai,

I thought you'd get more response to these great questions.

This is what I meant:
What safewords do you use?
What safewords have you used?
Which safewords and codes have you heard or read about?

Anyone who's been reading on the forums knows my safe words
are easy to say, easy to remember. Perhaps its because I'm so
analytical and my brain isn't wired to mix up yes and no.

So my safe words are: stop, no, that's enough, please don't, red light, and
yellow light.
Usually stop, red or yellow are all I can articulate.
Red is a hard stop.
Yellow is give me a minute, have to say something, whatever it is that I need a break.

Recently I read an article where it was suggested to use the word Mercy in public scening. That way the dom could look gracious while giving his pet a badly needed break. The phrase, Mercy, please spare this slave/sub/pet for another day, was a signal to end the scene.

I've used mercy a few times, but then have reverted back to the standards. :-)

What about when the mouth is stuffed?
There is an angry squeal or sound of pain that causes him to stop immediately and check in with me. I wish I could say I planned it, but T knows those sounds and what to do.

A few taps on the leg usually get his attention, too. That is if my hands are untied. LOL

Reading - I always admire when people use complicated words in their stories like cucumber, sasquash, or watermelon. I'm not sure I could possibly remember those words when I'm drifting in subspace or even totally rational.

Who's next? Inquiring minds want to know.

[bug]

red yellow and green here *nods*

[subthoughts]

I too pretty much stick with yellow for 'something's real-world amiss, check on me please' and red for 'full stop, untie me now, talk later'. I think they were the ones in the first story I ever read that was realistic enough include safewords and they just stayed in my brain. For non-verbal, I like this rubber sqeaky toy that is meant for dogs - it's shaped like a tiny cheeseburger, and I hold it throughout play -- squeeze it and it makes this goofy shrill sound. One squeak for yellow, multiple squeaks for red. It's loud enough to be very unmistakable. And it makes the neighbor's dog bark.

[whippedcream]

After like two years of submission wrestling, it's become instinct for me to tap out and/or yell "tap!!" when something goes suddenly physically wrong. I like it because there's no possibility of my forgetting what to say - it just happens automatically. (When I was really out-of-my-mind sick with food poisoning once, I actually found myself attempting to tap out to a stomach cramp. Didn't work.)

[Djarumdoll]

In my years as a submissive I never used safe words....my Dom knew me inside and out...and I trusted him completely to guide me through whatever experience...I never felt the need for a safe word....I have incorporated that same approach into my life as a Dominant now as well....I take time to get to know my subs, and learn to listen very closely to their silent responses.....

I have always felt that playing with a safe word allows the submissive to have the underlying control of a scene....and in essence they arent really truly 100 percent submitting.....I feel I cheat someone if I allow them to have that power.....If my submissive always knows in the back of their head that they can stop a scene, then how much true submission is taking place? In order to allow them to give themselves wholly and fully they need to know they have absolutely no control in the situation.....there are many times my submissives would like me to stop....that they believe they cant take any more.....and they always thank me after for pushing them a little farther than they thought possible.....trust is the main ingredient....my submissives trust me to always take care of them....in scene and out.....they trust me to never push them farther than they can go.....and to never emotionally or physically damage them beyond repair....

I am in no way saying that people should not play with safe words.....I am quite aware that there are some that need to have those in place and I do not fault them one bit.....BDSM is a very large realm in where many people develop their own choices and concepts.....and it is not my place to say they are right or wrong....I have often heard of red yellow green to be the most popular of safe words.....they seem to be somewhat universal....

[Ruby]

Djarumdoll -- Excellent comments about your choice of play and why.
Do you have any type of signals worked out in case of emergency?

You know, "There's a cop at the door and you really need to stop now!"
or
"If you don't stop, I'm going to be ill."

Or do you just let your sub say those words and listen.
What if your sub is gagged?

Looking forward to how you handle these types of situations or plan for them.

whippedcream -- Tap! What a great word. Easy to say and remember. Too bad it didn't work on that stomach cramp. I could use a word like that every now and then. :-)

Thanks everyone for jumping in to answer Ranai's questions.
Who's next?

[Djarumdoll]

Djarumdoll -- Excellent comments about your choice of play and why.
Do you have any type of signals worked out in case of emergency?
You know, "There's a cop at the door and you really need to stop now!"
or
"If you don't stop, I'm going to be ill."
Or do you just let your sub say those words and listen.
What if your sub is gagged?
Looking forward to how you handle these types of situations or plan for them.

Thank you for the kind words.....now for the not so exciting answer

if my sub isnt gagged they are allowed to speak.....they also are instructed to use a thumbs down sign if they cannot speak when ill, cramping, emergency, etc. Those two options have always worked out well for me, and I always make sure that one of them is available