Quote Originally Posted by alura
You host muches? How cool! I have been trying to figure out a way to find out if they have any here in Austin.
They do.

http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html#Texas
http://www.io.com/~ambrosio/texas/austin.html

Also, go to any adult/fetish clothing or toy store and check the local alternative lifestyle papers and you'll probably find ads for a dozen more.

And you were talking about the subs who come back who complain about it not meeting their expectations. To me a true sub is one who has none; they have a mind wide open to every possibility and only their true No Nos are the guardians of their gates. But then again, that's just me.

As I said earlier on, every D/s relationship is different so how can you have set expectations?
What? I don't think there's anything wrong at all with having expectations. Both as a dominant and as a submissive. It seems a little silly to me to think that a submissive might just accept the first loser she meets just because she's not supposed to have any expectations. I'm a pretty open-minded guy, but if I was a submissive and my potential dominant was, for example, living at home with his mom, unemployed, sat on the couch eating chips and watching TV all day long, and expected me to go out and work to support him, and then provide sexual favors for him every evening, I'd pack my ass right out the same door I came in and in a hurry.

I don't think it's reasonable to say someone should NOT have expectations, just because they're submissive. I mean, what? Submissive, just because they're submissives, should forget about such niceties as fidelity, honesty, openness, trust, communication, caring, respect, and commitment? Because when you say someone should enter a relationship with no expectations, you're saying that the person should not expect for their partner to be monogamous (unless previously discussed), to be honest, to be open, trusting, to communicate with them, to be caring, respectful, and comitted.

Relationships, whether DS or not, are founded on certain expectations. Just because a person is a dominant or a submissive or a masochist or a piss slave, that doesn't mean they aren't afforded the same basic human qualities as any vanilla person would be. Even the lowest of slaves that would let their dominant and all his or her friends piss and shit in the slave's mouth and beg for more still deserves the same human dignity and respect as anyone else does. Just because a person is "into BDSM" doesn't make them any more or less special than any other kind of person. They can still have all the expectations in the world if they want.

In fact, I'd actually recommend submissives to be MORE choosy of their partners. Especially the submissives who meet their partners online. Just starting a relationship with the first person the submissive meets with no expectations is likely to get that submissive hurt or killed. I say, to the submissives, have LOTS of expectations, and don't settle for people that you don't feel can meet them. You're not doormats, and you're not sub-human, so don't think you have to give up your needs and wants just because you've chosen to serve.