Well let start off by saying that I love it here.A few months back I was online looking for different types of sex.I cam across a few BDSM sites.I had never heard of BDSM before.I cheeked them out and liked what I was reading.As I am wrighting this I should say I have a live in boyfriend (but we have been having problems) So I came across the forums here.I signed up.I was happy about being able to talk with other people who were into BDSM.As I logged into and out of chat more and more my personal life was falling apart.My boyfriend was a heavy drinker.He drank more and more everyday,So I talked more in the chatroom,wanting to avoid him.Well it worked for a little while.Then he was like "what are you doing in a sex chatroom"I had to explain to him that there is a part of me thats needs this and wants this badly.Well he let me keep chatting here.He got ready to go to NJ for a month.But only problem was he was not going to pay for the internet while he was gone.So he left for the month and I slept and went to school.When he came back he got it turned back on.I was very happy for this.AS soon as I could I logged in here.When I did it was ok at 1st with him.Cause I did it while he was away.He found out.I told him to leave me alone"theres a need I need,be happy I don't wanna try this stuff out on you".He was like ok no problem.I then changed my name from BrookLynn to cream,seeing how I was feeling more like a sub then a switch.As for now I have an online Master and I long to have one in real life soon.well as for me and boyfriend we are getting worse everyday.Now he is talking about me becoming a escort for him to make more money.I have told him hell no."I don't wanna be a whore".So now he is saying we are just room mates are 3 long hard years.I am sad and angry about this.But I am not letting it get to me so much,or I will cry all the time.So if you happen to see me in chat and wonder whats going on with me cause I don't seem like myself this is why.I am gonna be looking for a new house soon.Well thanks for all your help,with talking to me.For now I am gonna go

smiles