Safewords, Slowwords, Signals, Codes

[tmordan]

With my present mate, we only use "safeword" because we haven't done much... though I hope that will change after we go on holiday next week Someone who came to play with us was rather amused, he said it was "incredibly unoriginal" - we explained that it was impossible to forget or mistake, and I do want to keep things simple for my mate, ease him into BDSM as gently as I can.

We've never had the situation arise where I needed to call safeword while gagged though; he can usually tell what I'm feeling through the look in my eyes. Plus we negotiate thoroughly before starting. Though I quite like the idea of giving some sort of code, and I've heard of people giving a set number of long grunts as a safeword.

Just my £0.02, I don't claim to be an expert or anything for obvious reasons :P

[slavecat]

Master and i established a safeword at the begining of our relationship but i have never felt the need to use it. in fact now that i think about it, i can't even remember what it is! lol guess i should ask just in case i ever need it. i trust Master to know my body and how much i can take and thus far we have had no problems. its good for my piece of mind to have one, even though i'll probably never use it. *knock wood*

[redhot33]

I have a safe word it is red or auborn and I have never had to use it. My master is pretty careful about knowing when it is getting to hard fot me to handle.

[csr]

I too have never used a safeword. I think, as was mentioned before, this is possible if the dominant is extremely in tune with their sub. We have a safe signal (I'm usually gagged) of 3 short moans in a row. This stands out from the usual noises because it is so deliberate. Still, I haven't yet had occasion to use it, after about 5 years of pretty heavy play.

The local play parties here insist on the yellow, red system and that a gagged sub holds keys or something similar to drop. My problem is that often if I'm experiencing pain or euphoria I'll flex my hands alot and have a hard time holding onto anything. You have to play by the safety rules though.