Sub Bribery?

[her_Joe]

As a submissive and a student of psychology I would have to say "bribing" your sub to do something is one of the worst things you can do.
A sub should want to do something for their Dom because of the way it makes them feel knowing they gave pleasure to their Dom -- that's part of the role.

Thank you, His_little one. Your argument is concise and well thought out, and exactly why I asked the question. I'm not about to argue with you.

Instead, let me make the type of situation clearer as I'm not talking about scenes or trying to provoke a specific, single task. What I want to do is to change an entire set of attitudes and a lifelong pattern of thinking.

As a student of psychology I know you've heard of behavior mod. and I'm trying to employ it to reshape a way of thinking.

If the sub is engaged in a pattern of self-destructive behaviors and attitudes, and has been for her entire life, it seems to me cruel and not very helpful to punish her bad habits. I can say "Quit that" but is it reasonable to expect someone to change a lifelong habit with a direction?

My question about bribing comes from a hope that I could, through rewarding (bribing) her each time she self-corrects her bad habits, and let her know ahead of time that she stands to gain pleasure (in the form of pleasing me immensely, and sometimes other things in addition) that I will do a better job of helping her to grow to her potential than I would by simply directing her toward my wishes and relying on her good nature to get her past a lifetime of bad habits and attitudes.

Your reaction? Does that change your position at all? Or am I still not getting it?

her_Joe

[scandalous pleasure]

We all have different motivations and respond in different ways to different stimuli. Some people are motivated to do something by the inherent worth of doing that particular thing (like the joy His Little One gets from the simple act of serving her master) but others don't. (In my opinion, that doesn't work for most people.) Otherwise noone would need a paycheck to go to work and our capitalist system would fall apart.

I don't believe it is wrong to motivate people with rewards--it works for kids in classrooms, dogs at obedience schools, and executives in boardrooms.

As far as whether it is legit in the context of your DS relationship, that depends on *your* DS relationship and not some arbitrary ideal of service.

Frankly, I don't sub to serve. I've served lots of people all my life in a hundred different capacities and I'm a nice helpful person, but I sub sexually because it is intensely erotic for me and my partner(s).

Ultimately, if it works for you and it works for her, helps her with her issues and also makes you happy--what's the harm?

[His_little one]

her_Joe, your post made things a little clearer for me - and yes, i am very familiar with the concept of behavior modification. I myself am not a behaviorist so i do not favor forms of conditioning or behavior modification - i think they can be potentially very damaging to ones intrinsic motivation. I do, however, think that it CAN be done and CAN be effective if done properly. I obviously don't understand the scope of behavior you are trying to modify and that makes it hard to effectively give you my advice. The only time i would recommend such a method of conditioning is if they are life threatening behaviors or if they are severely detrimental to her every day life and even then i would only recommend it in very moderate levels and paired with your unconditional love and support. She shouldn’t think she’s going to get something material every time she behaves in an acceptable manner, she should, however, get much praise from you and that should entice her intrinsically. Eventually this should lead to her behaving in a way without reliance on material goods. She needs to understand why her behaviors are wrong and detrimental to herself or others- and that such behaviors are not acceptable for whatever reason. THAT needs to be why she stops that behavior - not “well if i do this, or i don’t do that, I’ll get _____" Her pleasing you does not even need to be looked at in a D/s manner -- just knowing you support her and are trying to help her grow and get over these behaviors should help her. But i can't stress how important it is that the ONLY reason she not engages in these behaviors is to get a material item in the end. You need to get to the root of why she behaves the way she does – only then can you begin to fix the problem. Jumping ahead to bribery and ignoring the root of the problem only will make matters worse and will only cause her to resort back to such behaviors when she becomes “bored” of the rewards you offer her.
I understand that dogs, CEO’s, and children can be bribed with money, trips, toys, and treats but just because something works doesn't make it right - or ethical for that matter. Rewards of money and material items have become a crutch for too many people such that they won't and can't not only behave but be effective without them. Don't get me wrong, i don’t sub to serve - I as well am a helpful person and love the feeling i get from knowing i helped -and knowing that it made a difference – I feel that everyday of my life because of my profession. I do sub because it takes both Adam and I to a whole new level of erotic intensity we wouldn’t otherwise be able to share. Its about a deeper meaning of trust, passion, and reliance.