I understand where Cadence is coming from. I may be an out lesbian in my personal and professional life but I haven't come out to everyone (including family) with the kink aspect. It can be difficult to address safety when the peope in your life do not know just what the real concerns might be.

Regarding safe calls, I generally just tell my friends that it is a blind date. You don't have to go into specifics, just where, when, how long and to expect a call when everything's over. I've got a ******** on my phone that is just like a safe word--I put the person who I've trusted to check on me on that ring and let my play partner know that (no matter what is happening), everything stops for me to answer that call.

Even when going out with women, it is necessary to protect yourself, especially if there will be bondage or some other aspect that puts you in a vulnerable position. Tell someone, even if it is in a letter form that you leave for the person feeding your dog. Play safe and you'll play a lot longer.

ER