zasvig - we didn't mean to make light of your problem...sometimes we just have to laugh at ourselves.

Unfortunately, it does seem to be something that will take time. Like Oz said - read some of the other threads and you'll see that often it's a matter of 2 steps forward, 1 step back. For us anxious submissives, that's really hard to deal with, but if you want to have this type of relationship with your mistress, there really doesn't seem to be a guaranteed way to make things progress more quickly. Perhaps you'll find some particular action that another took that will be helpful to you. In my situation, it's been 9 months thus far and he's becoming more attuned to how delivering sensation gets him going, but the mental dominance part, which I'm finding I need more and more, is still in it's infancy. Just be patient and encouraging of whatever efforts she makes and let her take the lead in this. That's what you ultimately want after all.

Have a wonderful day!
jeanne