Zasvig,

Better to move a little too slowly than a little too quickly. If your wife loves you, and isn't used to this kind of play, she might be really worried about hurting/harming you. Also, some fantasies that you have in your head may possibly turn out to be things you don't enjoy as much RL as you do in your head (not saying it will be the case, but it COULD happen.)

Probably better to move slowly, and each of you incrementally increase the "pace" till you both reach levels of comfort. Also, you certainly don't want to jump into anything too hardcore (risk of injury, emotional scarring, etc) without getting practice and experience with less "intense" stuff.

In my experience BDSM is a lot like Calculus. If you go into first grade and try to start finding derivatives, you are most likely going to end up with your head hurting and a hatred of math. Better for everyone to get comfortable and familiar with simple things first before moving on. I know if can be hard, when you REALLY REALLY want to solve that differential equation with your wife, but it will all end better if you practice some arithmetic and pre-algebra together first